bila dugaan melanda...

today we had a bad day..after 8 weeks of pregnancy, today doctor has confirmed that i've miscarriage..to tell the truth, today me and hubby was very very sad and i couldn't stop crying..rase macam org tak betul pun ade..kejap tergelak when hubby tries to make me happy but suddenly nanges pulak..dugaan yg berat Allah dah turunkan pada hambaNya berdua ni..hanya kitorang yg tau macam mane sedih n frustratednye perasaan bile doc ckp camtu..

kesahnye start bile 25th April tu kitorang pegi Cameron Highlands for jalan2..ikut hubby's bro n his family pegi sane for 2 days 1 nite trip.. (citer jalan2 kat CH ni akan masuk nanti2 la ye..)

Sunday morning on 26th April tu..bangun pagi n mase nak mandi tgk ade mcm stain n a few drops of ketulan kecik2 darah..ala mcm time peot dah last2 tu..i was so shocked n rase tak sedap ati sangat2..tapi perut tak sakit pun..so after taking bath, i told me hubby n kitorang mcm da cuak gile..so later on, bile nak kuar tu, cite la kat Kak Na..die pun ckp suh relax2 sket arini n x kasi buat byk aktiviti sgt..

so sepanjang ari Ahad tu..i was careful enuff..jalan pun slow2 je to make sure that no blood or stain coming out again..sampai la kitorang balik petang tu..nothing comes out..by the time sampai umah dalam 11++ PM n nak tuka baju sume, i did checked again..this time, stain ade balik, n byk sket dari pagi tadi..i was already crying when i told hubby..hati aku separuh cakap baby still leh survive, sparuh lagi ckp memang dah takde..

we both blank n xtau nak g klinik mane tengah2 malam camni..i did asked Fara n she told me to go to a maternity clinic at Puchong..so pegi la carik..carik2 tak jumpe so kitorang balik n nak carik area Equine..kebetulan lalu depan Poliklinik Fatima n nampak die tulis "22 hours"..still open!! so kitorang pegi..doc lelaki tapi emergency, belasah jela..

lepas cite sume kat doc..die pun scan..die ckp, pada die..i am miscarriage..so sekarang die akan kuar sket2..they called it natural abortion..kandungan x menjadi..it was supposed 8 weeks but the size shows only 5 weeks..at this time, i cried n cried smpai doc pun pujuk jangan nanges lagi..but i couldn't stop..i was thankful that the doc is actually a gynae but end up duk kat general clinic..

so pagi soknye..pegi klinik Qistina sebab 1st checkup n scan buat kat situ..n the doc refer aku pegi Specialist - An-Nur kat Bangi..result yang kitorang dapat? same je mcm doc kat Poliklinik Fatima tu ckp..

so what i need to do..is rest..and rest..but the fetus will still be gone..as the doc said "In this kind of situation, only God knows why.." so dalam mase 1 minggu aku berehat tu..still kuar stain2 aje n no blood..n dalam minggu ni jugak what we have to do is kembali ke alam nyata n redha dengan smua ketentuanNya..

bye bye baby..thanks for being with mommy even for just 8 weeks..you do make me and ur dad happy..but Allah loved u the most..moga selepas ni kitorang dimurahkan rezeki untuk dapat anak lagi..insyallah..semua yang berlaku tu ader hikmahnye..